


what a heavenly way to die.

by heavenhearted



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Vampire Choi Yeonjun, but yeonjun loves you and wants to keep you with him forever :), touch of angst at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23844547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenhearted/pseuds/heavenhearted
Summary: you really like yeonjun, but you can't shake the feeling that something's off about him.
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75





	what a heavenly way to die.

**Author's Note:**

> title from [what a heavenly way to die](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncoOwXNVpDc) by troye sivan.

the first thought that came into your head was that he was so, so pale. 

hair a shock of silver, skin creamy white, even his clothes were all light shades of gray. he looked like an english royal with his parasol, long sleeves in the heat of the dwindling summer and polished shoes. his features were so … chaotic, dramatic enough on their own but somehow colliding in the best way when you put them together. he had this look that made you want to stay away, eyes sharp and unforgiving, but there was an unexplainable aura around him that made you want to get closer, too.

each time your eyes flickered to him, he wasn’t looking, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was watching you. you shivered. he was attractive, very much so despite his frigid appearance. you couldn’t tell whether or not he was staring at you, but a small part of you hoped he was. 

the subway station was fairly busy, people bustling around as usual, crowding around each other and buzzing with noise. you were looking at your phone, re-checking the departure time when, out of nowhere, you were knocked to the ground.

the first thing you noticed was a small group of teenage boys running from you, they had to be the culprits, pushing you out of their way so jarringly that you fell. the second thing quickly made itself apparent -- the boy was standing over you immediately, even though he had been standing at least twenty feet away. he was crouched on his knees, parasol still in his left hand, right hand resting on your clothed arm. “here, let me help you,” he mumbled, voice softer than you imagined it would be, a slight accent dancing around the words. he pulled you into a sitting position and then back to your feet, an almost-smile melting all the hostility off of his face. “are you alright?” he asked when you were up. 

you took note of the way his entire demeanor changed with his little grin. you couldn’t tell if he was having a bad day or if it was a serious case of resting bitch face. “i’m fine, thank you,” you answered, realizing his hand was still holding your arm. 

“are you sure?” he insisted, concern written all over his face, “that was quite a fall. those kids are twats.”

a giggle bubbled out of you, you couldn’t help it, the whole thing was just so weird. you definitely weren’t expecting that word to come out of his mouth. “yeah, they kind of are, aren’t they? thanks for your concern.”

he finally grinned fully, and _oh_ , that’s a charming smile, and _double oh_ , that’s a cute nose scrunch. you were pretty sure your heart was all gooey-melted in your chest. “of course. my name’s yeonjun, where are you heading?”

 _yeonjun_ , you noted, swirling the name around in your head, tasting it. _yeonjun yeonjun yeonjun_. “just across town, i needed to get out. yourself?”

he nodded. “that makes sense, i’m here most days, i’ve never seen you before. i was actually going to meet someone for brunch, but he just cancelled on me.”

you knew this was your shot and decided to go for it. “oh, well, you can come along with me, if you’d like. i was just planning on eating and walking around.”

he tilted his head much like a cat, a small and surprised smile on his face. “that actually … yeah, i’d like that. what’s your name?”

you gave him your name just as your train arrived, both of you looking at each other before boarding, yeonjun putting down his parasol. “do you burn easily?” you joked as you sat down.

he laughed, an easy sound that brought back his nose scrunch, which you already found yourself attached to. “yeah, actually, it’s really bad. i’ve had to carry this thing around my whole life, isn’t that awful?”

you hummed. “it’s not that bad. i mean, if it’s a pain to carry around, then that sucks, but it makes you look really fancy and important.”

he snorted. “or like a stuck up jerk.”

you squinted. “i don’t think so. you have a really genuine smile, so it balances out.”

he raised his eyebrows, turning his head. “is that so?”

“it is so.”

“well then,” he mumbled, adjusting his jacket, a tiny, shy smile on his face, “all the better.”

the bus ride flew by, jokes and thinly veiled compliments flowing between you so easily, as if you’d known each other for far longer than twenty minutes. once you got off the train, you turned to him. “should we eat now?”

he nodded quickly as he put his parasol back up. “definitely. what do you like?”  
“i like anything. where were you going to go for brunch?”

“oh!” he brightened, “just this little cafe, it’s like four blocks away? is that okay with you?”

you nodded, just excited to spend more time with this boy who you were so quickly growing to like. “that’s perfect.”

❦

“ … and so basically i was up until five a.m., and then i had to go in again at ten, and it was just the worst. every day! but it’s not like that anymore, thank god. i’m only up till four these days,” he chuckled.

“no!” you laughed, “you have to get more sleep than that, you’ll be a walking corpse if you don’t.”

“i’m just kidding, i’m just kidding, i get plenty of sleep.”

“okay, good, jesus.” the more yeonjun talked, the more you grew attached. he was a musician, a producer primarily, but also a rapper and singer with an underground quintet that you didn’t quite catch the name of, something about being together. he was so cool, funny and friendly and humble, and still so attractive. you were almost waiting for something to go wrong, he was too perfect. “so can i hear one of your songs, or what?”

he chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. “see that’s the thing …”

“come on, you have to let me hear just a little bit,” you begged, sipping your coffee earnestly and kicking his foot under the table.

he cast you a look. “it’s in korean.”

you furrowed your eyebrows. “why would that matter? let me hear.”

he shook his head, but he was smiling. “fine, fine, i’ll pull something up.”

he scrolled on his phone for a few seconds before shaking his head again and handing it to you. “don’t play it too loud, we don’t need the whole restaurant to hear.”

you examined the screen, “magicisland.mp4”, it was labelled. you pressed play and held the speaker to your ear. 

it took a few seconds for the song to kick in, but once it did, a smooth voice sang over the beats with ease. it was good, you really liked it, and couldn’t help but shoot him a look of awe as you listened. after the first chorus ended, you kept the phone by your ear. “this is really good, yeonjun. like, i really love it. is it on soundcloud or something?”

his eyes were shining. “you want to have it?”

you nodded vigorously. “yes, i want all of it.”

he asked about your life, of course, but you were hesitant to dwell on it, preferring to talk about him instead. you told him the basics and moved on. “so are the other four guys in korea?” you asked innocently.

he laughed at the idea. “no, no, they’re my apartment-mates. i see them every day, i couldn’t stand to have them so far away.”

“ah,” you said as it started to come together. “so who were you meeting for brunch?”

he paused. “one of the guys from the studio, we just wanted to discuss trying out some new beats and stuff. it sucks that he cancelled.”

you nodded.

he looked at you with mischief in his eyes. “well, actually, no, it’s not that bad. because i am more than fine with hanging out with you instead.”

you grinned. “yeah, i’m kinda glad he ditched you.”

he smiled. he was so smiley. “where to next?”

❦

“wow,” you said to no one in particular as you sank into your couch. it had been a crazy day, one of the most fun times you’d ever had. yeonjun dragged you from the cafe to the metropolitan museum of art, across the brooklyn bridge, through central Lee, weaving through streets and talking and laughing the entire time. you felt like a tourist again. he was so excited the whole time, giggling and pulling you along by your sleeve when he ran from place to place. he even let you under his parasol when it started to rain. you watched the sun set together, still so amazed at how two people could click so easily. he walked without the parasol then, the lights of the city making him glow in the dark like the north star. he caught you looking more than a few times, just too enamoured to look away. it was like you were entranced.

you took the train back and he offered to walk you to your apartment, quickly realizing the two of you lived five minutes apart. once he assured you it wasn’t too far out of his way, you gladly accepted, not too keen on walking home in the dark by yourself anyway. 

this is where it began to get odd. 

once you were outside the complex, he turned to you, taking both your hands in his. “listen … ” he started, but you couldn’t focus on his words.

his hands were ice cold.

you didn’t understand how it could be possible. it was a summer night, it had to be at least 70°, he was wearing a suit jacket for christ’s sake! how on earth could he be cold?

“ … and i’d really love to do it with you again, soon. so can i give you my number?”

you zoned back in at just the right time, it seemed. you blinked yourself out of your head and gave him a smile. “yeah, of course, as long as i can have yours, too.”  
he laughed. “duh, gimme your phone.”

you typed your number into his phone, still a bit weirded out as you put cute emojis next to your name. you handed it back to him, pupils flickering to his eyes for one more look, when your heart froze.

his eyes. his beautiful, deep brown eyes. in that moment, they glimmered almost crimson.

you sucked in a breath, unable to stop your natural instinct, and they faded back to brown. “hey, woah, are you okay?”

you shook your head a little. you had to have been hallucinating, yeonjun’s eyes were the same shade of chestnut they’d been all day. maybe it was exhaustion from the long, active day. “sorry, yes, i’m fine. i saw a big bug fly right behind you and it scared me.”

he sighed with relief. “oh, okay, good, you freaked me out for a second there.”

_i could say the same to you._

he shifted on his feet, and the world seemed to stop as he looked at you through his lashes, lifting your left hand and placing a soft kiss there. “i’ll text you?” he murmured.

his lips were warm. that was all you needed. “please do. goodnight, yeonjun.”

❦

it did not take him long. the very next day, your phone went off.

**yeonjun☂️:**  
hey! i’m assuming you got up to your apartment alright last night? (12:24)

**you:**  
i did! so when can we hang out again? (12:26)

**yeonjun☂️:**  
hmmmm well (12:28)

i’m free thursday night if you wanna do something then (12:28)

we could go to dinner or see a movie or hang out at my place (12:28)

or your place (12:28)

whatever you’re comfortable with (12:28)

**you:**  
how about we decide on thursday? (12:29)

then we can be ~ fun and zany adults ~ (12:29)

**yeonjun☂️:**  
i like it (12:30)

let’s go with that (12:30)

so there was a plan. kind of. and you were excited, because you really liked yeonjun a lot. a lot a lot. but you couldn’t shake that strange feeling. that cold skin, those red eyes, those warm lips … they had to mean something. he was too good to be true. but you supposed you’d find out on thursday.

❦

yeonjun was at your apartment. overdressed. again. you would have to get used to that.

he was in light colors once again, a mint collared shirt with ruffles, a white suit jacket, and pressed gray pants. he smiled with soft eyes when you opened the door, beckoning him into your place and hugging him tightly. “hey, how are you?” he asked.

you were great. you’d spent all day making dinner for the two of you (even though yeonjun said you guys could order out, not wanting to force you to cook) and cleaning the place up. it looked better than it had in years, and the same could be said for you yourself. you figured he’d be looking fancy again and couldn’t just let him one-up you. you put genuine effort into your outfit and hair for the first time in a long time, drowning in accessories and laughing at yourself as you tried things on. and once he finally showed up, it was confirmed: the two of you looked good together.

“heyyyyyy, you made dinner even though i told you not to!”

you laughed at his tone. “okay, i wanted to though! home cooked stuff is always better than takeout.”

he pouted a little. oh god, that’s cute. “fine, fine,” he relented, taking a seat. “so what have you been up to?”

the two of you chit-chatted as you ate, yeonjun pausing every once in a while to make a pleased noise and say “god, this is _so good_ ,” before shovelling another huge bite into his mouth. 

you couldn’t help but laugh at him. “you really like it?”

he looked at you earnestly and nodded exaggeratedly, which made you laugh again.

his love for your cooking (and for you, but you wouldn’t realize this until later) led to a new tradition of a weekly dinner at your place. in addition to this, you also had several more city dates and even visited his apartment, which was shocking, to say the least. it was huge, firstly, and even though five guys lived there, it still felt unfairly big. it was so dark, brown brick walls and charcoal carpeting. it was chic, but yeonjun’s light … everything stood out dramatically against the theme. his roommates left you alone for the most part, emerging from their individual rooms to say hello and make fun of yeonjun before disappearing back inside. they were cute, younger korean kids that spoke broken english and were almost as pale as yeonjun, which blew your mind. they made you feel so dark.

speaking of which, you never saw his eyes flash red again. you just assumed it had been your brain playing tricks on you that night. he was cold, he was always cold, but you figured that it had something to do with his condition, so you left it alone. you figured it wasn’t worth it to ask and risk offending him.

as for the relationship between the two of you … it just kind of happened. there was no grandiose confession, no sudden realization, no dramatic moment, none of that. the two of you just kept getting closer and closer, and it wasn’t until he firmly kissed you goodbye one night that it occurred to you that _huh wait friends don’t really kiss on the lips_. you hated to be that person that texted “what are we?” but once you realized that you didn’t really know what was going on, it just bothered you, so you caved. and yeonjun, god love him, just texted back, “we’re dating, right?”

you had a good laugh at this, calling him immediately, still giggling when he picked up, frantically greeting you with a frenzied “ _right?!_ ”

“this is news to me!” you replied, laughter uncontrollable at this point.

yeonjun made a noise close to a squeak. “i thought i made it pretty clear that i was romantically invested in you!”

“i mean, i don’t know! we’re dating, this is great!”

“oh my god,” he mumbled, amused.

you placed a hand on your heart, trying desperately to absorb this moment so you could keep it forever. “you have to be very clear with me, i’m a little slow.”

he sighed, but you could tell he was smiling. “okay, let me be very clear, then. are you listening? i like you a lot and i want to take you out on a lot of dates, alright? did you get that? should i phrase it differently?”

“you’re so mean!” you yelled back, affronted. “i don’t know if i wanna date you now.”

he groaned. “my dearest, sugarbee, darling, _ma cherie_ , will you please let me go out with you and kiss you and cherish you?”

you hummed. “there you go. yes, of course, yeonjun.”

“god,” he huffed. a pause. “ … i can’t wait to see you again,” he admitted.  
you smiled a little to yourself, cradling your phone with both hands now. “isn’t it absolutely ridiculous that i miss you already?”

“absurd,” he confirmed. “what’s wrong with us?”

you laughed. “i’ll text you tomorrow about next week?”

“okay,” he said, voice hushed. “have a good night.”

you bit your lip, absolutely enamoured. “yeah, you too. bye.”

❦

the next time you saw him … oh boy.

you were smiling even before you could make out his face. once you finally got to him, he pulled you into what was maybe the tightest hug of your life and swayed back and forth while he held you. “hello, hello, hello ~ ” he sang, your heart absolutely fluttering with excitement. 

“hello ~ ” you sang back, much quieter than him. it was your first official date as people that were both aware of you dating, so of course you had to be cheesy and start at the very station where you met. you clasped his hand firmly, pressing a kiss to his cheek before murmuring a “you look nice, as always.”

he laughed at you. “is someone feeling a bit shy?”

you scrunched up your nose, but nodded, not even attempting to deny it.

he poked your nose. “is it because we’re -- ” he leaned close and wiggled his eyebrows, “dating?”

you flicked his forehead and pulled him onto the train, cheeks completely red.

the two of you proceeded to recreate that first day together. it shocked you how everything could feel the same, yet so different. “how’s work?” you asked him between sips of latte.

he cocked an eyebrow. “this is so domestic.”

you glared at him. “stop trying to make me blush! it’s just a question, it’s not domestic, god.”

he burst into laughter. “was it that obvious that i was trying to make you blush?” 

“ _yes._ ”

he smiled, admiration sparkling in his eyes. “fine, okay. work is good, i’ve been mixing this album for like a year now, it’s finally almost done, so i’m excited.”

you hummed. “do you think you’ll make your own music after this?”

a grin slowly spread across his face.

you squinted. “what’s that face for?”

he just looked at you.

“have you been singing and didn’t tell me?”

“maybe?”

“ _yeonjun_!” you whisper-yelled. “let me hear it, right now! i know you didn’t put it on soundcloud, i literally check it every day just in case.”

he shook his head quickly, taken aback. “do you really?”

you rolled your eyes. of course you did, you adored yeonjun’s music. “not the point, please let me listen?”

he flashed you his best puppy dog eyes. “i don’t have it on my phone, dearest.”

“ _liar._ ”

“no, really!” he exclaimed. “i really don’t. it’s not done yet. i’ll let you listen when it is, okay?”

you frowned. 

“cross my heart.”

you groaned. “okay, fine. what’s it about?”

he laughed cheekily, in a _heh heh_ kind of way. “uh, you.”

you clenched your fists. “you -- stop that. oh my god.”

he chuckled. “what?”

“you know what! you’re gonna give me a heart attack, jesus.”

the whole time you two walked around, hands swinging between you, he’d do something to make you laugh, hum a little or make a weird noise or whisper a stupid joke. you elbowed him every time, but he wasn’t deterred. every time you walked past a shop, he suggested you go in, even just for a few seconds. “you never know,” he said when you asked why, “you might find something you want.”

you could feel him changing your life already, and it was exciting. you knew you’d never be able to walk past a shop again without his velvety voice cooing _you never know_ in your head.

the two of you bought matching keychains, they were copper with little hearts dangling from them. “what are you gonna do when the boys see that?” you teased, already laughing at the idea of beomgyu and taehyun’s shocked faces at the sight. yeonjun chuckled. “i’ll tell them it matches yours.”

your breath hitched, and he noticed. “good idea,” you murmured, not knowing how else to respond.

all day long, you found yourself just looking at him. his skin looked so soft under the shade of his parasol, his face a smooth expanse of ivory. he was so expressive with you, so different from the stoic man you saw that first day you met, your first impression before you talked to him. the corners of his lips were constantly quirking up, his eye smile appearing charmingly. he was just … _so_ beautiful, and it made you feel shallow, but he _was_. he didn’t even have to do anything, he just looked good. his lips were a delicate shade of pink, just barely standing out from the rest of his skin. his silvery hair was growing, the black roots peeking out. his eyes would flicker to you occasionally, smirking a little at your gaze. but he didn’t say anything, which you appreciated. you just kept looking. 

at the art museum, he kept taking random pictures of you. when you finally spun around and shot him a _what the hell_ look, he just raised his eyebrows. “what, am i not allowed to take pictures of the art?”

you rolled your eyes. “were you leading up to that the whole time?”

he nodded, grinning enthusiastically. 

you stuck your tongue out.

as you walked across the bridge, you stopped abruptly. he turned back to you, hand still wrapped tightly in yours. “hey, you okay?” he asked. you just wanted to savor the picture of your beautiful boy lit by the sunset, glittering waters behind him.

you looked at him, tilted your head and smiled. “yeah, i’m, yeah. good.”

he breathed out a laugh. “you sure?”

you pulled him in, nestling yourself in his arms. “one hundred percent.”

once the sun disappeared, you took his parasol off of him. “here,” you said, “you deserve two hands.”

he shook his head, chuckling. “if you say so.”

the two of you took the long way back to the train station, clearly wanting to drag the night out as long as possible. when you finally found yourselves on the train, yeonjun was pouting. you just played with his fingers.

when you made it to your apartment building, he smoothed his thumb across your cheek. “so … date.” he posed. “was it … you know … ”

you snorted. “good?”

he nodded.

you leaned in and kissed him, really kissed him. in the breathless sort of way you’d been thinking about all day.

“good answer.”

❦

from that point on, friend dates turned into lover dates. everything was the same, yet everything was completely different.

you went to the same places, made the same jokes, laughed the same way. but there were small things, little shining moments that made it feel like something else entirely.

firstly and most noticeably, yeonjun became … extremely touchy.

he was always fumbling for your hand or laying his on your thigh or pulling you into his lap or stretching his face towards yours for a kiss. if, for some reason, he wasn’t making direct, physical, skin to skin contact (which very rarely ever happened), he would pout until you gave in to poke his cheek or lay your head on his shoulder. 

another thing; the constant looking at you. and not just looking. full on gooey-eyed, heart melting, 100% certified in-love-gazing. he was always watching you fondly, no matter what you were doing. he found all of it cute. and you found yourself thinking the same of him. you caught onto all of his mannerisms, the way he’d make faces if he was talking to himself in his head, all the different hand motions he used when he was trying to make a point, the little wrinkle that appeared between his brows when he focused, the way he rocked back and forth in his desk chair when he was composing, the way he would bounce up and down when you put food in front of him. your brain was telling you it was puppy love, but your heart wasn’t having any of it. you knew it was pure infatuation. simple as that.

additionally, from that first “real date” on, you two were constantly together. before, you had made time for each other, but after that day, it was like the two of you were trying to weave your lives together. you both worked from home, which meant the two of you could sit together and work. no talking, just the comfort of each other’s presence. you’d stay together until one of you started to fall asleep on the other, and then it was time to part. if you were at yeonjun’s, he’d walk you down the street all they way up to your door, making sure you got in okay and staying for a few minutes to kiss you senseless. “it’s a goodnight kiss,” he would argue, making grabby hands at you and whining until you rolled your eyes and relented. he’d always be the first to break away, panting and kissing you once more on your forehead before mumbling a breathless, “goodnight, angel,” and leaving you for the night.

he drove you mad. you’d never felt so strongly towards anyone in your life, he was on your mind constantly. when you weren’t with him, you were thinking about the next time you would be. you loved doing things for him, making his favorite meal, buying little trinkets that reminded you of him, holding his parasol over your heads when you two went out to give his arms a break. his words kept you up at night. his kisses kept you up at night. you’d toss and turn, unable to get him out of your head until you surrendered, calling him up even though it was some ungodly hour. the first time, he picked up sounding terrified, fearing something was wrong. but he quickly relaxed after you promised him all that was wrong was that you were having trouble sleeping. depending on how he was feeling, he’d either talk about work in a hushed whisper, his gentle voice lulling you to sleep, or he’d sing softly, lullabies pouring out of him until you drifted off. once you fell asleep, he’d sigh deeply. every time, he wondered aloud, “what are you doing to me?” before hanging up and leaving you to sleep soundly through the night.

everything was perfect. it really was. you should’ve known it was too good to be true.

one weekend, the two of you were at your apartment. it was late, a cool saturday night after you had spent the day shopping around, as you both needed to run errands. you had ended up at your place, had a feast of takeout, got some work done, and decided to watch a movie together. however, in true you-and-yeonjun fashion, watching a movie quickly turned into staring at each other and laughing at nothing. which somehow turned into making out. not like you were complaining. 

you were sitting in his lap, facing him, chests pressed together. the slide of your lips was lazy, but you were still out of breath. you had that effect on each other. it was going as it normally did, until, with no warning, yeonjun pushed you away a little, chest heaving. you were instantly on high alert. “are you okay?”

he looked at you, still breathing heavily. “there’s something i need to tell you.”

you bowed your head to kissed the cool expanse of his neck. “what is it, babe?”

he let out a helpless noise. “look at me, this is serious.”

you broke away from him and gazed into his eyes. “just tell me, jjuni.”

he squeezed your shoulders. “i would never do anything to hurt you, okay? i would never do anything that you don’t want. i want to protect you, do you understand?”

you nodded, too curious to ask questions.

he sighed, bowing his head. “i really don’t wanna say this.” he finally looked back up. “baby, i’m a vampire.”

the whole world came to a screeching halt.

you were completely frozen. you knew it had to be true. it explained everything. the parasol, the cold skin, the red eyes. he didn’t have any conditions. he was a vampire. your heart slowed as you looked at this boy you cherished, completely petrified and desperate.

“you are?”

tears sprung to his eyes. 

“hey, yeonjun, no,” you murmured, pulling him into your arms, “please don’t cry. it’s okay, i still wanna be with you, i trust you, okay? i’m not gonna leave you. i love you, yeonjun.”

he looked at you with disbelief written all over his face. “really?”

your heart shattered. “come here.”

you kissed him fully then, trying to show him you wouldn’t abandon him. he kissed back, but softly, more reserved than he’d been before. you broke away, so many questions swimming in your mind. “do you …” you gazed at his lips. “do you wanna drink my blood?”

he shook his head.

“would you if i said yes?”

that time, you caught it -- his eyes flashing red like the very first night you met. “n-no --”

“what if i want you to?”

he moaned then, closing his eyes tightly and falling back against the couch. “you don’t.”

“aren’t you thirsty? wouldn’t it make you feel good?”

he shook his head again, frantically.

“i want you to. please.”

he groaned again, louder this time. “you don’t understand --”

“please, yeonjun, i really, really, want you to. i need you to do this for me.”

and that was the golden ticket. 

he pulled you in tight against him, so close you could feel his frantic heartbeat. he was mouthing viciously at your neck, kissing and licking and gasping. “are you sure -- _mmh_ \--” it was clear he was fighting his instincts, his eyes were bright red, “are you sure you want me to?”

all you could do was nod, thankfully that was enough for him. he hovered over your skin, you felt the points of his fangs (where did those come from?) and shivered. when he finally bit down, you let out a small cry. but it was clear he didn’t even notice.

it was obvious that the bite was having an intense effect on him. he was squeezing you tightly, pulling you closer as he drank. you gasped at the feeling, at how quickly it happened. he kept sucking as you felt yourself get lightheaded, his arms only constricting tighter as he continued. he finally seized up and pulled his lips away, burying his face in your shoulder as he groaned. 

he panted as he calmed down, his grip on you gradually loosening. after a minute of you stroking his hair, he finally emerged. he looked the most alert you’d ever seen him -- there was color in his skin and he was warm. “baby,” he mumbled, taking your hand, “are you okay?”

you were feeling dizzy, exhaustion slowly washing over you. “yeonjun,” you said quietly, eyelids drooping, “canihavesomewaterplease?”

“oh, shit,” he whispered before laying you down. “stay awake for me, okay? i’ll be right back.”

he rushed out and back into the room with a glass of water and a handful of almonds. “here, jesus christ, i got carried away, i’m so sorry. can you sit up a little and drink?”

you nodded, leaning on your elbows and drinking as the lightheadedness subsided. “it’s okay, it’s not your fault, i’m alright.” you downed some almonds. “how do you feel?”

he shifted. “good. really, really good. thank you.”

you giggled a little. this was so weird. “of course. what -- does it like … can you explain it to me?”

he blushed brilliantly. “um, it just, hm. have you ever gotten a really strong craving for something, and then you finally eat it, and it’s like total euphoria?”

you nodded.

he fidgeted. “it’s like that, times a hundred. and it affects, like, my whole system. that’s why i, uh, yeah.”

you felt his cheek. “you’re warm.”

he smiled, taking your hand from his face and lacing your fingers together as you’d done so many times before. “yeah. thanks. it feels really nice.”

you squeezed his hand. “i have so many questions, but so many of them are stupid.”

this made him laugh. “i don’t care, go ahead.”

“ … do the boys know?”

he cracked a huge smile. “they’re … y’know.”

you gaped. “oh. oh.”

“yeah. five vampires in one apartment, i know.”

you ran your free hand through your hair. “how long have you been around?”

he paused, taking a second to sigh and look down. “not that long,” he said, looking back up at you. “i was turned at twenty-one, and that was twenty years ago.”

“how does turning work?”

every answer lead to a new question, and he ended up sitting on your couch for hours. it wasn’t until you started yawning between words that he glanced at his phone, eyes bulging. “it’s one a.m., holy shit, i’m so sorry, i’ll leave so you can get some sleep.”

you waved him off. “it’s fine. you could … you could just stay here?”

he smirked. “sweetheart, i don’t sleep. you don’t wanna deal with me tossing and turning all night, trust me.”

you inhaled sharply. “that’s how you get so much work done.”

he laughed, the sound almost resembling a cackle. “yeah. i mean, i can sleep, but i’m so used to being up and about that it’s really hard to be calm enough. if you really want me to stay, i will. but i can’t guarantee anything.”

you paused. “how about you stay and then we can have breakfast together tomorrow morning?”

his smile softened. “yeah, okay. maybe i’ll get some work done,” he commented, gesturing to his laptop bag by your door.

you pressed a kiss to his cheek before rising to your feet. “okay, yeah. good idea.”

within an hour, you were snuggled in bed, drifting off to the sound of yeonjun’s keyboard clicks as he sat in your desk chair. “you can join me later if you get tired,” you mumbled sleepily. 

yeonjun’s eyes softened as he gazed at you. “yeah, okay, angel.” he rose to his feet and knelt by your bed, hand smoothing over your hair as he pressed tender kisses to your forehead, your neck (over his bite), and to your lips. “now get some rest, okay? i love you.”

“iloveyoutoo,” you mumbled, nodding, and you were out.

❦

you couldn’t really believe this became your normal.

yeonjun was there when you woke up with breakfast waiting for you, feeling your head and running his hand down your back and asking “are you okay? you feel better than you did last night, right?”

you assured him that you were okay and pressed yourself into him, loving the feeling of a warm yeonjun for you to hug. 

not much really … changes. yeonjun’s still your boyfriend, you still go out with him on weekends, still take refuge at his apartment (“the vampire nest”, yeonjun calls it when he wants to get a laugh out of you) after long days of work. you still love him. he still loves you.

a few years pass. 

yeonjun moves in with you. he puts out an album of his own (featuring several love songs about you) under a stage name that actually gains a good bit of traction. you adopt a dog together. you fall deeper and deeper in love with him every day. he takes better care of you than anyone ever has before. you find yourself not knowing what your future would look like if yeonjun wasn’t in it. not _wanting_ a future without him in it.

you watch yourself catch up to him in physical age, being that you’d been a few years younger than him when you first met. you watch him stay twenty-one. an ache settles in your heart, a fear that yeonjun will move on once you start to get older, that you’ll only be a blip in his everlasting life, that you’re not enough for him. not the way you are now.

it’s not until your twenty-first birthday that you realize what you really want.

once all the fanfare dies down, all the invitees from the surprise party yeonjun held for you finally gone, when it’s just the two of you, yeonjun pulls you into your bedroom and situates you on his lap and looks deeply into your eyes like he’s searching for something and kisses you dizzy. “happy birthday, baby,” he whispers between your lips, voice husky.

you want to be happy, you want to be able to bask in all he did for you today, to be able to appreciate how much your boyfriend truly loves and adores you, but your stupid brain just keeps taunting you with that awful idea. you’re not what he needs.

yeonjun presses sweet kisses down your neck, and you burst into tears.

he’s backing away as you’re choking out sobs, murmuring frantic, “hey, hey, hey”s and “angel, what’s wrong?”s and it makes you cry harder because he’s too _good_ for you. 

he combs his fingers through your hair and wipes the tears off your cheeks with his thumb, eyebrows furrowed and plush, pouty lips pressed into a frown. “what is it, sweetheart? talk to me, let me make it better,” he begs, and you deflate.

“this doesn’t feel like it can work,” you finally manage to say, your voice much angrier than you expected, your words laced with venom. 

he’s confused, you can tell, his little head tilt giving him away. “what do you mean, sugarbear?”

you sigh in frustration, hands balling into fists at your sides. “how can you love me when i’m like this?” you huff, “how can you want me knowing i’ll just get old and die and you’ll have to go on without me? how am i supposed to be okay with knowing i’m only a small sliver of your life? how are we supposed to live like this, yeonjun? i can’t take it anymore, i’ll be older than you soon. i can’t do it like this.”

yeonjun is very still and very quiet. he’s not looking at you anymore, his gaze trained on the floor. “are you saying you don’t want to be together anymore?” he asks, voice steady. robotic.

“no,” you urge, and he looks back up to you. his eyes are brimming with tears. “jjuni, no, that’s not it at all. i love you _too_ much, that’s the problem. i want to be with you, be with you. i don’t know what i’m trying to say,” you admit, eyes darting around the room like the answer will be written on the walls. “i feel like i can’t be what you need like this. i can’t be right for you this way. i’m too … human.”

his face goes hard. “do you know what you’re suggesting, here?” he sounds deadly serious, and it makes a chill run through you. you don’t see this side of yeonjun often. “wanting to do it is one thing, but don’t let it be for the wrong reasons, y/n. i won’t do it if that’s why.”

you pause. you have thought about it before, about yeonjun turning you. it’s quite a commitment, like marriage times a thousand. til death do us part hits a lot harder when there’s no death to part you. but part of you yearns for it, to belong to yeonjun forever, to stay the way you are, to never have to leave him behind, leave any of it behind. “that’s not why,” you eventually say. “it’s more than that.”

he sighs, finally softening. you’re ripped out of the situation at hand for a second to just look at him, at this boy you treasure. you would give it all up for him, you know you would. and it would be worth it. you want to stay by his side, you want to make him happy, you want your existence to get all tangled up in his until they’re indistinguishable from each other; you want to merge. you reach out to press your hand to his cheek, and his own hand comes up to cup yours, holding it there. you can see his love for you in his eyes. you know he can see the same reflected back in yours.

“how about this,” he offers, and you lean forward a little to hear his proposition. “i’ll give you a year to make sure this is what you really want. if, on your birthday next year, you haven’t changed your mind, i’ll do it. i think that’s fair.”  
you almost want to whine, ‘but that’s so far away!’, but you don’t. he’s right. a year to wait on an eternal decision is more than fair. “okay,” is what you really say.

he plants a soft kiss on your nose and it makes you smile. “my sweet girl,” his voice cracks, and it breaks your heart. “i’ll be with you as long as you’ll have me. i promise, i’ll give you eternity, if that’s what you really want. i’ll do it all.”

(he keeps his promise.)

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this a while ago and i liked it a lot at the time but now i don't know how i feel about it. regardless, it's a bit longer than my other one shots, so i hope you enjoyed!  
> [my tumblr](https://lilycafe.tumblr.com).


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